Now where do I start?

Two years ago, I began my actual quest towards discipleship. Despite being a kingdom kid, I really had no idea what it meant to be a Christian and also had a yearning to know God a bit more. I have to admit though, that wasn’t my actual reason when I started studying. When I attended my first youth camp, I saw how everyone had a great time and yet expressed such decency when they were amongst each other. These people looked so cool even when they served God. The life of a Christian looked awesome and as far as I was concerned, my life wasn’t. Believe me, this is coming from a kid who failed academically, made bad friendships and was poor in spirit. I had more respect for the disciple at that camp than I had for the coolest guy in the coolest group at our school. Nonetheless, God showed me a life worth living.

Two years went down the line and here I am typing about my journey. There were so many events in those painful two years of my life. There were times when I felt like I was at the top of the world and times when I felt lower than scum. God pulled me out of so many situations and allowed me to experience most of them. Now why would he allow me to bring such despair upon myself? Why all the temptations and trials? 1Corinthians 10:13 gave me that answer. I tell you now, as a disciple, they didn’t stop. God wants to make you stronger and he can’t do that if he doesn’t allow you to go through certain things. Our love for God is truly strengthened through hardships and this is not because of the things that he allows me to go through but just how he pulls us out of them. It’s a beautiful sight when we see how many struggles we have overcome with God by our side.

I’ve been a disciple for 5 weeks now….. Never had I been so fired up about discipleship than I am now. However, as we approach baptism, we subconsciously have this perception that the struggles stop. I knew full well that the life of a disciple was going to be tough, however I couldn’t help but think that things might get easier. That’s all I ever wanted. I have been blessed with the Holy Spirit, I’m honoured to be called a child of God, my sins have been washed away and I’ve been given a place in heaven. How hard can it get? God had an interesting way of showing me how wishful my thinking was. It’s in our nature to pay back someone when they give us something, especially if it has saved our lives. Christ taught me that there’s absolutely nothing we can do to earn the salvation of God. No matter how many good deeds we do, it will never add up to what he did for us on the cross. As a disciple, I’ve learnt this and yet it is still breath-taking…. Who wouldn’t want to serve a God that gave His life for us? It is truly remarkable. Many people had to die for their gods. The God I worship died for me. Dear reader, Gods love saved my life. All I had to do was believe in it.